Friday, August 12, 2011

Why are we on this path (angry)

Freedom is such a vast concept... for some minds it is hard to actually grasp it, and they confuse freedom with being irresponsible.

But in Buddhism, the main objective of our practice is to become responsible for our own lives. This implies two very important qualities: active compassion and intuitive wisdom. Our teacher also insists at almost every lecture on the importance of not hurting others, but to rather work to protect them. Buddha did not leave commandments, but rather a few advises to help us lead happier and more beneficial lives.

At the level of the body, he recommends not ever killing or damaging anyone, but, like I said, to take every opportunity to protect others, and to give them healthy pleasure physically. At the level of speech, Buddha of course advises us not to lie or deceive others, to avoid slander, harsh words and empty speech. At the level of mind, we are basically counseled against hatred.

As I stand here I see someone deceive me, and make a fool of me, obviously hurting my feelings and not taking one minute to reflect about it. I have a real hard time understanding, especially the lack of compassion. But well, like my friend Ingrid says "People are cruel", and being on the path doesn't mean that we have actually learned anything.

I think of my own intuitive wisdom and how I must really learn to trust myself and that when something scares me, I should maybe listen to it. I also thank my good karma for things falling into place before more harm is done, but cannot help feeling like a fool and resenting this attitude. I understand this also is Karma, and that I planted the seeds of this situation at some point in time. This is serious purification, working at many levels and on many emotions. And I very bravely resolve not to sow more seeds in this direction. Maybe tomorrow I will even be able to make good wishes for this person and actually do it from the heart.

Quite honestly tonight I am angry.

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