Yesterday was a day for many adjustments, standing up from my wounded pride and facing my disturbing emotions, and realizing that I myself planted the seeds of the cactus that I was sitting on, then quite happily understanding that there was a great protection allowing me to see this purification happen so fast, and then making a conscious effort to ensure the link remains purified of all negative imprints from now on.
I also opened a door that brought me to new horizons and opportunities. I remembered my Lama´s words "A Buddhist doesn´t believe, a Buddhist has confidence". And I did. I never knew what was behind that door, but I acted on pure confidence. My reward was much more than I can understand right now. But this comes later.
As for today, we had the White Tara Initiation. She is also called the Wishfulfilling Wheel. Rinpoche said that if we practiced this meditation, we´d be able to avert all obstacles in our lives.Very seldom have I experienced such profound meditation. Rinpoche is just wonderful, his laughter melts my heart and makes my eyes wet. I feel his kindness is limitless and an energy field of pure love surround all of us in his presence.
In yesterday's initiation I remember a moment in which all wars and struggles were pacified, I fervently made wishes for my heart to be pacify, and today, during my meditation I am White Tara, and am surrounded by thousands of White Taras, and even this man I was angry with yesterday is Perfection in White Tara. We are all Buddhas, and I smile at the beauty and perfections that surround me.
I know we shouldn´t discuss our meditation experiences, and it truly is not my intention to do so, but this was so strong and powerful that I cannot remain silent. I need to share.
With my eyes closed I let Sheralb Gyatsen´s words guide me and became the beautiful and pacifying form of the White Liberatrice, after a few breaths, everyone around me was also White Tara emanations and we all radiated with love and kindness. There was nothing to hold on to, nothing to achieve. Simply white loving light and the energy of four thousand friends on the way absorbing the power of the loving female Buddha.
I made strong wishes to pacify my heart and simply melted in the joy that so many could share this bliss, that so many of us enjoy the beauty of the Dharma gifts, the motherly Liberatrices, the red Dakini in powerful posture, Mahakala´s protection, dwelving in the Pure Land, melting in Loving Eyes, and expanding overflowing love in the Mandala Offerings... Yes! We are so many... and yet we are one.
Alchemy is the art of transforming something quite ordinary into something quite precious. In this case, the joy and the unconditional love experienced by my teachers filled me like a vase being filled with crystal water. I cannot hold on to negative thoughts, I can only surrender to the highest view, I am the highest view. I am the highest love.
And that´s how the most amazing thing happens. I fall in love.