Most often than not, we meet new people and immediately let the engine of our concepts and fixed ideas run, categorizing our new acquaintances without really stopping to think about it. We believe we understand things, when actually it is simply our mind making constant judgments on everything, based on our imprints from the past. With men it goes something like this:
1) Possible/potential lover (green/yellow light)
2) Possible/potential stalker (red alarm)
3) Friend (green light)
Once a man is on a girl´s list, the category will very rarely change, except for the worse in the cases where a man falls down from list n°1 to list n°2, but list n°3 is usually comfortably stable.
Much has been said on the subject that men and women cannot be friends, yet throughout my life, from my earliest childhood memories to the latest happenings and occurrances in my recent travelings, I´ve found the opposite to be true. Men have always been an important part of my mandala, and I don´t mean romantically.
From my earliest friend Philip, with whom I walked home from school and escalated parked cars pretending they were mountains, to David, my best friend roaming together the streets of Paris, and Arnoldo, my highschool very best buddy, hours on the phone, laughing like crazy and sharing all my secrets, to the many more than came to my life as time passed: Ota, Polo, Gilles, Joan Paul and others, more recently during this trip: Kuba, Szabi, Peter, Stephan, and others I´ve already wrote about in previous posts... Male energies have always been friendly to me, have helped maintain the balance when there is no special person in my life, and have given me good times and patience, and have helped me analyze the men I am interested in as category n°1, while I have also imparted some feminine wisdom for their benefit.
I have always been quite strict on not disturbing the categories. It always helps to be well organized, to know what to expect and to keep at least some things predictable. If you know that this man is your friend, then you somehow feel safe around him, safe from inappropriate flirting (on both parts!) and safe because a man is such a wonderful energy to surround ourselves with. Strong, protective, gentle and kind, these male friends have made my life better for as long I can remember, and I am a strong believer and supporter of the male-female friendship bond.
The night that I met G., instead of opening up to him impartially and getting to know him, I quickly decided he looked the flirting type and fell therefore in the category of men with whom I should thread carefully. But I also noticed how friendly and kind he was, and the following day, he remembered my name and greeted me in a friendly way, so after a few more conversations I decided he was a really nice guy (although a flirt) and warmed up to him. Let it be known that I was going through strong purifications, as you might know if you're a faithful reader ;). When we met again upon my arrival at the E.C. I was totally happy to see him. I was also charged with all the blessed energy from Lolland and the recent events in my private life and my heart was open, I could open up to him on a new level: friendship.
I also got the feeling that his energy had also changed a bit, he seemed more relaxed, happier, and therefore kinder and fresher. From the very first day/night at EC he treated me with an absolute generosity, and I could appreciate his qualities and simply fell into trusting him. From that very moment, his presence felt like a balm of safety whenever he was around. His readiness to smile, to share his stories, our talks in fluent French, my native language, his gentle attention... well, he won my heart over in record time. But we were friends.
I mean like good friends. Friends you just know you can count on, friends to share secrets with, honestly, shamelessly even... very quickly my appreciation of his many qualities grew. Talking to him came naturally, and his company became comfortable happiness. He is a friend I feel safe around. A good friend. A noble and trustworthy friend, and this opinion I have of him has only increased after he moved into another category in my heart. He is still my friend, my comfortable, natural, happy friend. But now he also is the man I am falling in love with.
Ever so subtly one night we both knew things had changed. And now they´re only getting better.