I am deeply touched by other people's love. So many sweet, happy couples around me. I am touched and moved beyond words and can only make wishes for the endurance of their happiness. I also wish for myself such sweet love… Little babies and children melt my heart. Love, Love… I feel Becske!
Only one day after: I feel so jealous of loving couples, I feel jealous of loving mothers who can lavish their love on their little ones. I am jealous and not proud. It actually hurts. So many tell me I am so brave for this trip I am doing and yet now I can only see all my weaknesses, so obvious they are, so present. The tears that fill my eyes every time I speak of my children, so much that sometimes I just prefer not mentioning them to anybody. And this little girl next to me who tenderly puts her hand on her mother thigh. It broke my heart to pieces. I could only think of all of Maïa's tenderness, all the love she loves giving me. All I want is to hold her tight. And I suffer. I must go back to my values:
Fearlessness: Mind is Space, unlimited and timeless.
Spontaneous Joy: Space is rich and full of impressions.
Active Compassion: Others are many and I am just one. Obviously they must be more important.
I cannot be afraid because Space is full of potential and I will love and be loved again and I can bring my children to me. Everything I give to the outside world comes back and I give so much love that I cannot doubt that I can make magic happen. The key to happiness is to give even more, and to only act and speak thinking of the other person benefit. That is so clear to me now.
Lama Ole says in the Diamond-Way we are like a Mandala giving each other experiences. We are a Mandala of growth, a living organism. "Have fun, a good style and feel free!" Behave like a Buddha until we become one. That's our practice.
Every moment, we create the rest of our lives.