East or West

In my cancer journey I have been confronted with many difficult decisions. Since I am away from my family and friends, I can only rely on my own intuition and inner wisdom.

Decisions such as what treatment to follow are the hardest. The medical community varies in their approach, whether they are in El Salvador, the US or Hungary, and are sometimes a bit contradictory, which can contribute to feelings of confusion and anxiety, a lot of fear of making the wrong choice and dying from it.

However the advice Western medicine has for breast cancer patients is pretty much the same everywhere: poison your body with chemotherapy, then proceed to burn it with radiation and please don’t forget to insert a hormonal time bomb by either removing your ovaries or inducing menopause.

I am both horrified and terrified of all of the above.

The highest blessing in my life has been the contact with the dharma, the teachings Buddha gave to the world 2600 years ago. In spite of coming to us millennia ago, these teachings are still relevant in the world of today.

Through my practice of dharma I have come in contact with very high lamas and have received their blessing and advice.

I am not talking about wishy-washy ideas that present themselves as alternative medicine. I am talking about Eastern wisdom and a medical science that has been healing people for thousands of years, without poison or burning or aggravating one’s condition with unnecessary pain or difficulties.

Most of the Western doctors I have spoken to in the past six months have been appalled at my determination *NOT* to have chemotherapy, and several have felt offended by my doubts and a few have been less than respectful to me when I’ve expressed my doubts and tried digging deeper with my many questions.

Following the advice of a Buddha, I’ve decided to follow an Ayurvedic treatment.

This feels true in my deep self. I trust it with my life, quite literally.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy. The limitations are many. But it feels right.

Anyway, what to trust more? The advice of a Buddha who sees everything in every situation, or that of a doctor who only sees statistics (which by the way do not include me)?
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I'll just follow my heart.